Looks Like I Made It....

through October that is. I hate October, every single day of it. I've had devastating life changes in the month of October and no matter how far on the other side of it I am, I still hate October. It's a happy day when the calendar turns to November. November bears some sad reminders for me as well, but for some reason it is one of my favorite months of the year.

I love Thanksgiving! All the yummy food like cornbread dressing and fried turkey. I love the crispness in the air and the colorful leaves on the ground. I love the football games and the rotel dip. I love the time change and turtleneck sweaters. I love reflecting on all of my many blessings and hoping for more to come.

Good riddance October; you can't hold me down. November has arrived!

Is it Really October?

I can't believe my last post was in July and now it is the end of October. Where has the time gone? The kids have been back in school for a while, Brian and I have turned another year older, the leaves are falling from the trees and Christmas is just around the corner. I can remember as a child that time seemed to creep by so slowly, not any more! Our life in the slow cooker is suddenly not so slow.

My return to a full-time career has become just that...full-time plus. Days turn into weeks and the weeks into months. We are right in the middle of our season and I am counting down until November 15th. The golf course has kept Brian busy. We have actually seen each other more this week than we have in a while and that is only because we were both home sick with bad colds. Ugh! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we are all looking forward to some reconnect time in the next few weeks.

The kids have been real troopers in all of our craziness and I am constantly reminded at how blessed I am. They are easy going and just go with the flow and are very patient with this hectic new life of ours.

I hope to be more diligent with my posts and apologize that I have gotten so far behind. Like I said...November 15th is right around the corner! More posts ahead with what we have "simmering" on the home front. Stay tuned!

Fast and Furious

That is exactly what our summer has been like! For those of you who don't know, I went back to work full time at The Rock Ranch. The Rock Ranch is Truett Cathy's (founder of Chik-fil-A) personal ranch. It is an agritourism site that offers field trips, camping, Fall Family Fun Days. It's a really cool place to work. I'm city gone country and it's fun!

The kids have been on the road with a trip to Granny Susie's. She took them to Myrtle Beach for a couple of days. It was Cole's first trip to the Atlantic Ocean. He says it's "AWESOME" and is begging that we go to the Atlantic rather than the Gulf for our next beach vacation. We'll see. It's hard to pass up on those sandy white beaches on the Gulf of Mexico. But, I could suffer through a trip to Hilton Head or Charleston!

After being home for a day and a half, they both headed off to camp. Katie headed to Global Youth Camp in north Georgia and Cole headed back to Camp Marannook. It just so happened that they were both the same week. They both had a great time, made new friends and came back with a deeper love for Christ. What more could we ask for?

Trevor went to camp in Andalusia, so we have not seen the boys in two and half weeks. We're going through withdrawals and ready for our nest to be complete come Wednesday. Katie plays in a golf tournament in Opelika this Tuesday and Wednesday. Brian will be her chaperone/coach for this tournament(thank God!) and they will be bringing the boys back to Georgia on Wednesday. Our house, that has been extremely quiet for two weeks, will once again be filled with laughter, footsteps and fights. We wouldn't want it any other way.

I've posted a few pictures of Cole at "The Nook." Katie did not take a camera so I don't have any of her. Hopefully we are slowling down for the remainder of the summer. The kids go back to school on July 29th. Ugh! Like I said...Fast and furious!

To the Very First Love of My Life

Daddy,
It stinks to have a birthday and Father's Day at the same time every year. You often get combined gifts and get recognized for two different things on the same day. You're lucky this year...at least it falls on two different Sundays! I am writing just one recognition but it does not lessen the fact that I celebrate you as you and you as my dad. I have been extremely blessed by both!

My very first memory is of you picking me up from daycare. I must have been 3 or 4 at the time. I remember standing on the seat next to you in the car. That was way before car seats or seat belts! I don't remember what we were doing or what we talked about. I just remember being excited to see you and feeling special to be yours. As much as I love my mother, I've always seen myself as a "Daddy's Girl." I remember that the first flowers I ever received were from you. A dozen red roses for making the cheerleading squad. They were delivered to my school. I remember you driving over for our football games and advising me that we needed to learn the game a little since we were often cheering when the other team had the ball!

I did not have the privilege of growing up in your house. But, I have always known beyond a shadow of a doubt that your were my biggest fan, my cheerleader, my confidant,... a safe place to land. Our relationship has evolved over the past 37 (ouch! I am getting old!) years and I have never enjoyed it as much as I do now. You are one of my best friends and the first one I turn to when I need wise counsel, a laugh or a shoulder to cry on. You are a big part of who I am today.

One of my favorite songs is "I'll Always be Your Baby" by Natalie Grant. It expresses exactly what I want to say. I'll close with the lyrics.

You were my first love
Always there for me
You taught me how me to walk and how to dream
God gave me your eyes
But it was you who showed me how to see
Now I can stand on my own
But I know you'll never let go

I'll always be your baby
No matter how the years fly by
The way you loved me
Made me who I am in this world
I'm a woman now
Not a little girl
Wherever this life takes me
I'll always be your baby

You are my hero
And that will never change
You still can dry my tears with just your smile
The one I've leaned on
From my first steps
To walking down the aisle
Now there's another man in my life
But I know by the look in your eyes

I'll always be your baby
No matter how the years fly by
The way you loved me
Made me who I am in this world
I'm a woman now
Not a little girl
Wherever this life takes me
I'll always be your baby

Your faith, your love and all that you believe
Have come to be the strongest part of me

And I will always be your baby
No matter how the years fly by
The way you loved me
Made me who I am in this world
I'm a woman now
Not a little girl
Wherever this life takes me
I'll always be your baby
Daddy, you mean the world to me. I hope you have a very Happy Birthday and a Happy's Father's Day!

I love you!
Buffie

First Try at the SJGT

This past weekend Katie and I headed down to Fort Gaines, GA for her first SJGT tournament. Since Katie aspires to play college golf, Will advised her to start playing on the tour so she could get experience competing at a higher level. The SJGT is a prestigious tour for juniors and one that has a lot of name recognition amongst college scouts.

Boy was this weekend an eye-opener! Katie was a basket full of nerves. Fortunately, Katie's friend and fellow golfer was playing as well and they were paired up for both days. If you don't think junior golf is serious, let me correct you. Will was right, this was a totally different level than we had ever played. It put the high school matches to shame. Katie came in 4th...out of 4 girls in her age bracket! But, I was very proud of her for sticking with it. Two days of walking 18 holes each day, carrying her own bag, hot weather and not so great golf play made for a tough weekend. Believe me, there were times I thought she was going to just walk off the course.

Todd and the staff of SJGT were top class and very understanding that this was the girl's first appearance in a tournament of this caliber. The two girls in the lead both shot 75 each day and had to go into a sudden death playoff that was decided after two holes.

We left there with our heads held high, a list full of things we need to work on, and the understanding that Brian will have to be at all the remaining tournaments. Katie suffered through my lack of golf knowledge and patiently accepted my pep talks from the side line. I have promised her that I would not speak of her score, only of how we will improve from here. I have included a few shots of her warm up on the first day and shot of Katie and Anna Logan headed off the tee box.

Love You Always

Barbara Burns Schmidt Singleton (1947-1992)

Thanks Mom….
For loving me before you even knew me.
For caring for me from the moment I was born.
For holding my hands as I took my first steps.
For taking time with me after a long day.
For reminding me that laughing is sometimes the best way to cry.
For not just talking the talk, but walking the walk.
For praying with me and for me.
For not just being proud of me, for actually saying it.
For holding me so tight, and for letting me go.
For being the example I needed when it was finally my turn to be a mom.
For teaching me that death is not the end, it’s the beginning.

Can’t wait to see you on the other side completely healed and basking in the Light of our Savior. ~ Buffie

"I am fooling only myself when I say my mother exists now only in the photograph on my bulletin board or in the outline of my hand or in the armful of memories I still hold tight. She lives on in everything I do. Her presence influenced who I was, and her absence influences who I am. Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay. Loss is our legacy. Insight is our gift. Memory is our guide."
--Hope Edelman, Motherless Daughters, epilogue

I'm in A Funk

Mother’s Day always puts me in a funk. Mother’s Day is still a few days away and I have already had several crying spells. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to be a mother and I am blessed with a family that showers their appreciation on me. I have also been blessed to have several wonderful “mother” figures in my life.

The real issue with Mother’s Day is that in 1992, cancer made me a motherless daughter. I don’t care how young or old you are, it is really hard to lose your mom. Time is a great healer, but seventeen years later I still leave Hallmark crying. I want to buy her a card or send her flowers. Honestly, what I really want is to be able pick up the phone and hear her voice. I think I have forgotten what it sounded like.

I remember the last few days of my mom’s life like it was yesterday. Even though we had watched her suffer and deteriorate for over a year, I wasn’t ready to let her go. I thought I was, but I wasn’t. I prayed for one more conversation (she had been unresponsive due to pain medications for many days). God granted us that last conversation the day before she died. I will remember that conversation until the day I die. Sometimes I wonder why I only prayed for one last chance to say goodbye. I should have prayed for more…more years with her here.

So, like I said…I am in a funk. I want to honor her. I want to share with you what a wonderful mother she was and what a beautiful testimony she had. But I can’t do that today. Today I just want her back.